A Crime (inspired by Kurt Vonnegut's Miss Temptation)

It should be illegal for women to smile.

Yeah you read right.

ILLEGAL!!!!!

Let me explain.

I normally ride the bus/light rail downtown in the mid morning and early afternoon. At this time young people my age tend to be on their merry way to be educated within colleges and universities. Most days I tend to ignore people due to being engrossed within a sci fi novel or a good book of living out the Kingdom, but today I was in awe struck.

You guessed it.

Sitting right across from me was a pretty girl.

But not just any kind of pretty girl. She had something special about her. I first noticed her hair. It was brown and somewhat curly, about shoulder length. Everyone who knows me well knows that I'm a sucker from brunettes. And her eyes. Wow. Big and dreamy. Then to top it off she looked like she had just walked out of a thrift store.

All the while she was listening to her Ipod. And I just knew, because all girls like this have an aura around them, that she was listening to Radiohead.

At this point I think my jaw very well may have dropped. Not in the lustful "Damn girl, you be fiiiiiine!" What do you think I am a pervert or something? Anyways, I began to wonder "Should I start up a conversation?" But the thought quickly left seeing as she was texting and listening to Radiohead. No one wants to be ripped away from Radiohead.

I quickly go back to my book. But I kept on stealing glances. After a while she looked up and smiled at me. Then went right back to gazing out the window and occassionaly flipping open her phone.

And that ended it for me. I suddenly had the deepest feelings of despair a man can feel about a women.

That smile she gave me said it all:

"I am too good for you."

Nothing more, nothing less. Any hopes of this girl being the love of my life where dashed against the rocks. All because of a simple smile.

Now let's get it out there. I know absolutely nothing about this girl. She could either be the sweetest, most gentle, gracious and loving person ever to walk this world, or she could be the wicked witch of the west. I sure don't know. Heck I won't ever know. But one thing was certain, I had absolutely no chance in the world.

You see like many other guys, I have absolutely NO confidence to speak of. This lack of confidence normally goes in one of two directions. You either act out arrogantly, or you ball it all up. Other times it goes anywhere in between.

I can't count how many stories I have heard of over confident men stating that it's all a front for all the insecurities that lie beneath the surface. They could approach anybody, make conversation with anyone, but not at all be able to hold the deep personal relationships that make life good.

Like me, others simply can't at all approach anyone. We have problems going out of our way to make friends, to meet new people. And when we do, we simply feel awkward and not fully ourselves. We don't feel we can reach out to others due to being hurt. And when we finally do, it tends to fall apart awfully quick, mainly due to the guy being clingy and insecure about everything. Oh how I've been there too many times.

And what's the common denominator for all men who lack confidence?

Rejection.

Oh how many times I have tried to talk to a pretty girl only to be completely and utterly rejected.

And how does it all start?

A smile.

A women's smile is the most beautiful emotional response that God has ever given us. It's best when it's directed towards me!(or you of course, but I'm just sayin...)

But when we as males genuniely want to make the smile brighter, more genuine, you smash us down. Reject us. Make us feel worthless. And then you smile because you know that you have power over us. The power to smash our hearts with a hammer. And a big hammer at that.

Guys aren't just penises with legs. We feel, we hurt, we write love songs for those who will never hear them. We don't want to just get you in bed.

Ladies, somtimes I just want to make you smile.

Lately though, when you smile at me it has simply told me that you are better then me. I'm not saying that I am better then any women, I truly believe we are both equal. However when a pretty girl smiles at me, it has been the smile of "I am better then you."

So please, stop it. Stop playing with our hearts and minds. Stop with the games.

Please stop acting like you want to start a conversation with me.

To quote Kurt Vonnegut's Miss Temptation:

"I'm not talking about theaters with seats in 'em. I'm talking about the stage of life. American women act and dress like they're gonna give you the world. Then when you stick out your hand, they put an ice cube in it...It isn't fair...You come in hear with bells on your ankles so I'll have to look at your ankles and your pretty pink feet...You kiss your cat, so's I'll have to thinka bout how it'd be to be that cat...You call an old man an angel, so I'll have to think about what it'd be like to be called an angel by you...You hide your key in front of everybody, so's I'll have to think about where that key is...Miss, you do everything you can to give lonely, ordinary people like me indigestion and the heeby-jeebies, and you wouldn't even hold hands with me to keep me from falling off a cliff."

Please ladies, stop getting my hopes up and just stop smiling. It gives us men a lonely feeling.

Goodnight.